January 4th

I'm in Japan now and its pretty crazy. Took about 24 hours to get from Biola to where we're staying at in Japan. Left midnight of the 4th and got into Japan 12:30pm on the 5th. So I never experienced January 4th, 2009. But then again I'll experience January 17th twice. Time travel is kind of fun. We start shooting this afternoon. We're finishing choosing settings for the camera for our different looks right now. The house we're staying in is really cold and doesn't really have internet after all. It does but you have to go on the back porch and then you'll get two little bars. So my posts will probably be more limited then I thought. Alright, time to get back to work.

Storyboards

I'm sitting in my dorm room waiting until we have to meet to leave tonight. Since I've been on break the past two weeks I'm trying to switch my mindset back to work mode. So to get there I'm reviewing the storyboards for the film. Its nice to just go over these several times and just get all the shots drilled into my head even more than they are now. They definitely look different than what I saw in my head since I didn't draw them (and its a good thing anyways cause I can't draw worth beans anyway) and obviously what they will end up being, but they still really help. And I just love storyboards. Yep, I do. I can't wait to get the first shot off! I love when the camera starts to roll. Until then, the anticipation builds. So I think I'll just keep looking over these storyboards.

Japan Bound

So it's almost been one year since I've blogged. Pretty lame on my part. Pretty lame. Over the past few months I've really wanted to start putting my thoughts up on the web again for others to read, but for some reason just haven't. But now I am. Most of you know this while others don't, but in less than 48 hours I will be getting on a plane to fly over to Tokyo, Japan with the sole purpose of shooting a short film. I can't believe I can even type that sentence.

This last fall semester I was able to get into a class at Biola University, where I attend, where we basically just make a short film. During this last semester we took the film through pre-production and over the next two weeks we'll be shooting it in Japan. There are 13 students in the class and we each hold a position on the crew while our professor will be directing the film. My position is Director of Photography.

I don't know when, but ever since sometime shortly after falling in love with filmmaking it's always been a dream of mine to travel to another country just to shoot a film. And in less than 48 hours that dream will come true. I don't know what say. Not sure what it's going to be like, what kind of expectations will be made. But all I have to say is I'm thoroughly excited about it and amazed that God has provided this opportunity to me at such a young age. AS the trip quickly approaches us all I'm excited to see how the team will work together and the things that God will do through the course of the trip to stretch and grow each and every one of us. Stay tuned for the Japan Journals. I'm going to Japan to make a movie!!!!!

Tearjerker Lives Again

After much contemplation, last November I decided to shoot some pick-ups and re-edit Tearjerker to make aspects of the story more clear. Over the break in December I got back together with Anna and Tim and shot some new stuff as well as re-shot a scene. Who knew 6 months after the premiere in June we'd be back together working on stuff for it. For the last couple of months I've been editing the new version and fixing the little things that always bugged me. I must say I'm pretty happy with how its coming. The new version of Tearjerker will be premiering this April at the Biola Film Festival (if it gets in).

On another note, last November I shot my first official music video with artist David Webster. I'm currently finishing tweaking this one in post and it will also premiere at the Biola Film Festival (if it gets in). This one will hit the web shortly after, so for those that won't make the festival you'll be able to watch it. So mark it on your calendars, April is the month for new.

We Will Forget

As today marks the six year anniversary of the tragic day when the world trade towers and thousands of people's lives came to an end, we're surrounded by rememberance. "We remember, we remember," are words I've seen and heard everywhere today. As this day has progressed, I've been filled with some questions. Ones I don't necessarily know the answers to, but ones I want to throw out into the open.

Though we all remember the day, where we were and what we were doing when we heard the news, the lives of those taken, and the images of planes crashing into buildings, people jumping off to their deaths, smoke filling the New York streets, and buildings crashing down all engraved into our memories, I beg to differ that we have forgotten.

We have forgotten the stir of a mighty dragon that followed. We have forgotten the feeling and movement of unity this country stood strongly in. We have forgotten how easily and how quickly tragedy strook us and can strike us again. Does it really do justice for all those that lost, sacrificed their lives on that horrific day to just remember everything in the above paragraph but not the things in this paragraph? I don't. Why does our remembrance come only once a year? Why isn't our remebrance lived out in our daily lives? Do we really, truly remember 9/11, or have we forgot?

Finished

This past Friday night was the party for the cast and crew of Tearjerker. Through this project I have formed new friendships and developed and grown in already existing friendships. And that right there is one of the top reasons why I love filmmaking. I finally finished the dvd for Tearjerker and one of the special features on the dvd is an hour and a half documentary on the making of Tearjerker. It was a great time getting back together with most of the cast and crew and reminiscing over the project by watching the documentary. Tearjerker is a very special project to me and I hold everyone involved in the project very close to my heart. A very special group.

So with the dvd being finished and the party being over, Tearjerker has now come to a close. And to be honest, I don't know if I like that. Because of how special the project and all the people involved in the project are to me, it is very hard for me to be "finished" with the project. But it is. I am grateful for all the memories, experiences and effort everyone put into the project. It was an absolute joy working with everyone and I look forward to the future and hope that it holds the oppurtunity of working with all of them again.

Insomnia

For like the past few months I've been finding myself not being able to sleep at night. I really havn't thought about why. And to be honest, I enjoy staying up late. There's something about night time, a certain energy. I find that I'm 100 times more productive during the late hours of the night than any other time of the day. So I've really been taking advantage of that and enjoying it. But its starting to wear me down. Just recently it seems the more I don't sleep the more tired I am (obviously) but the more sleep I get, not only does the tiredness not go away it seems to increase. So as I'm up again tonight I did some searching around the good old world wide web.

"Short-term insomnia can be linked to events and factors that are often temporary, such as:

Adjustment sleep disorder. This form of sleeplessness is a reaction to change or stress. It may be caused by a traumatic event such as an illness or loss of a loved one, or a minor event such as a change in the weather or an argument with someone."

I know shortly after the passing of my mom I had a lot of dreams about her. All of them pretty much consisting of her still being alive. And I must say they were some of the best dreams I've had, brought me so much joy. But then I'd wake up the next morning and realize it was just a dream and then have to face the reality that she was still gone. It seemed like I kept experiencing her passing over and over again. So I guess you could say my trouble falling asleep is rooted in fear. Fear of having more dreams. Fear of waking up again and having to face that whole reality over again.

So examining the past few months I've found I've got more than just restless eyes, but a restless heart. Kind of goes back to my other blog where I described the hole I've been feeling. I just want it to be filled again and I know its something only God can fill. Just trying to learn how this whole healing process goes and I know its going to take a long time if not a lifetime. Above all at the moment I just want to actually be able to rest again. Insomnia, the witch at the foot of my bed, go away.

Gosh I've blogged about a lot of crap in my life lately. Sorry guys, just have to let it out. Helps me understand everything a little bit better.